


doesn't mean we're bound for life

by hippopotamus



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 12:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19425919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippopotamus/pseuds/hippopotamus
Summary: He’s trying to sleep, because he has to be a rational human being in the morning and fucking study, but it’s so fucking difficult when he just wants to wrap himself around Isak just to hold him, kiss him just to sayI’m thinking about you, run his fingers through his hair to smooth it out.





	doesn't mean we're bound for life

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh brio sent me this prompt and then i wrote it and it got LONG  
> im considering also archiving all my tumblr prompts to here bc tumblr is a hellscape and stuff but idk if i should do this  
> heres this one anyway  
> enjoyo

It kind of hurts, not being able to touch Isak when he looks like this. All soft and quiet, fast asleep on his stomach, head turned to the side with his mouth a little open and his hair messy from when Even’s fingers were running through it and pulling at it earlier.

But to touch him now, when Isak’s only staying the night because he’s tired, only still in Even’s bed because he claims his legs don’t work anymore, it would just be wrong.

It wouldn’t be something they could class as friendship - even one with benefits.

Even knew it was a bad idea to agree to this arrangement, but in his defense, at the time they decided it, he was high out of his mind, Isak too. They blame it on the weed that it started, and they blame it on the convenience that it’s continued - for Isak, both are true. For Even, he’s just fucking in love, any chance to be close to Isak is a chance he will jump at.

He thought it might make it more bearable, you know? Relieve some of the tension building inside of him, but now instead of tension about how fucking hot Isak is, it’s tension about things like wanting to kiss isak’s forehead or put an arm around him when they walk down the street together or just. lean on him, all the time.

Sure, he gets to, you know, fuck Isak. but where’s the _romance_. where’s the _tenderness._

Ugh.

He’s trying to sleep, too, because he has to be a rational human being in the morning and fucking study, but it’s so fucking difficult when he just wants to wrap himself around Isak just to hold him, kiss him just to say _I’m thinking about you_ , run his fingers through his hair to smooth it out.

He inhales, fills his lungs with air that Isak’s breathing too, and exhales, trying to push all his thoughts out at the same time.

He feels a little calmer, but did it actually work? Did he stop thinking about Isak?

No. Because he’s right there. Fast asleep, looking like - something out of Even’s dreams - he’s actually pretty sure he’s dreamt about this millions of times, because it’s not the first time it’s happened, that Isak has stayed the night. And honestly, Even doesn’t really understand how he always ends up being the last one awake, because he’s certain he’s heard Isak talk about having trouble sleeping.

Even will fall asleep eventually. He’ll probably wake up with some part of him touching Isak without permission from his rational thoughts, but thankfully, he wakes up before Isak, with time enough to move.

He tries breathing again, because somehow his thoughts have wandered away again. Isak - no, breathing. He’s breathing. He’s falling asleep, he’s tired, he’s falling -

There’s a loud crash from downstairs, and he’s decidedly not falling asleep anymore.

Neither is Isak. He wakes, eyes half shut, with a tired voice that murmurs “what was that?” and Even can’t even appreciate the softness of it because he’s wondering the same thing, actually.

What _was_ that? If someone has broken into his house, he will quite possibly cry, because, really, he can’t fight anyone. He’s not strong, or brave, and also he’s so tall that frankly his centre of gravity is impossible to cope with and he trips over air, even when he’s calm and collected, which by the way, he is not calm or collected right now.

Isak is properly awake now. “Hey. You okay?”

“Uh,” absolutely not, but he doesn’t really no how to express that, he’s having a little bit of trouble with breathing normally.

“It probably wasn’t anything to worry about, dude.”

“Mhm,” Even agrees, and hey, that was a good distraction, because now he’s just filled with frustration that Isak still calls him _dude_ , but also, fuck, wait, now isnt the time, there might be something in his house. Probably a demon. Shit, he’s been watching too much buzzfeed unsolved.

Isak is busy pushing the covers back, and exposing them both to a demonic attack, so Even grabs the blanket and pulls back, and Isak shakes his head (he seems kind of fond, actually. That’s nice. Also there’s still a demon in the house, _priorities_.)

“I’m going to see what it was,” Isak says, climbing out of bed. “You coming?”

In response, Even pulls the blankets back up around himself, then changes his mind, he doesn’t want Isak to leave him alone in this room.

He stands slowly, and Isak half laughs at him.

“Hey, it’s alright. You forget how many fights I’ve been in. I can take on anything.”

This idiot. He’s been in two fights, and they barely count as fights. Still, Even cracks a smile, mostly at the confidence in Isak’s voice.

His breathing’s still kind of fast though, heartbeat too, and Isak must notice, because he smiles gently and reaches out.

“Come on,” he says, interlacing his fingers with Even’s and pulling him behind him, out the bedroom and down the stairs while Even’s mind starts to just. Malfunction entirely.

Isak doesn’t even seem to notice, just drags Even along behind him into the kitchen, where -

“Remember when I told you earlier that your books would never stay balanced like that?” Isak sighs, looking down at the mess of paper on the floor which caused the noise.

“No,” Even lies, looking pointedly away, his whole body relaxing despite himself.

Isak smiles. “Of course not. But hey, no fighting necessary. Your house is safe.”

Even does appreciate it, and he’s a lot calmer now, but he still can’t speak.

Mostly, now, it’s because Isak isn’t letting go of his hand. Even’s not exactly going to push it, but he should probably let Isak know he can let go, that Even’s not _that_ much of a coward.

“Thanks,” he says weakly. “Uh, I’m-” he looks down at their hands and melts at the sight, but composes himself. “I’m okay now. You can, uh, let go, if you want.”

“Do you want me to?” Isak asks, and he looks kind of disappointed, maybe.

“No,” Even answers too quickly. “Uh, I mean, it’s, it’s-” He stops talkiing because he can’t form sentences anyway.

“I don’t want to let go,” Isak says quietly. “I like holding your hand.”

“You do?” Even asks, his voice all quiet awe and foolish hope.

Isak steps closer. “It’s kind of weird you haven’t figured that out yet.”

“I mean, you’ve never held my hand before.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “Not the point I’m trying to make.”

_Oh._ “Oh.”

Isak looks down, and sighs. “Yeah, anyway,” he starts to pulls his hand away.

“Don’t let go, then,” Even says. “If you like it. I like it, too.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s kind of weird you haven’t figured that out yet,” Even grins, and Isak half scowls at him before he returns the smile, and moves into Even’s space, holding his hand tighter.

They’ve kissed before, countless times, but this one still feels like a first.

This one feels romantic.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u thnk u thank u for reading!  
> i'm on tumblr [@evenshands](http://evenshands.tumblr.com)  
> love always xxx


End file.
